Why life really begins at forty?

Carl Jung is famously associated with the idea that “life really begins at 40.” This notion stems from his belief in the process of individuation, which often becomes a central focus during the second half of life.

For Jung, the first part of life (up to midlife) is often dedicated to establishing one’s ego, societal roles, and external success, while the second half involves a deeper exploration of the self and the search for meaning.

Jung’s Perspective on Life at 40

1. Transition from Ego to Self

Around midlife, Jung believed people often experience a shift from focusing on external achievements (career, family, societal roles) to inner growth. This is a time when the ego, which has been carefully constructed, is challenged by the unconscious, inviting the individual to explore deeper aspects of their psyche. This transition is what Jung referred to as the beginning of “true life.”

2. The Midlife Crisis

The phrase “life begins at 40” aligns with Jung’s concept of the midlife crisis. This is a period of psychological upheaval where individuals may feel disillusioned or dissatisfied despite outward success. According to Jung, this is not merely a crisis but an opportunity for transformation—a call to confront unresolved aspects of the self, including the shadow and the anima/animus, and to reorient life toward meaning and wholeness.

3. Focus on Individuation

Individuation becomes a dominant theme after 40. This is the process of integrating all aspects of the psyche, including the conscious, unconscious, and archetypal elements, into a unified whole. For Jung, this process allows individuals to live authentically and in harmony with their deeper self, rather than simply conforming to societal expectations.

4. Shifting Priorities

Jung noted that priorities often change after 40. People may seek spiritual growth, develop an interest in creativity or philosophy, or pursue activities that feel deeply fulfilling. This stage involves moving from a material focus to exploring the “inner world,” which Jung believed was essential for psychological and spiritual health.

Why “Life Begins at 40” Resonates

Jung’s insights resonate because they acknowledge that fulfillment is not tied solely to youth or external achievements. Instead, midlife is seen as a gateway to a richer, more meaningful existence. Challenges faced at this stage—such as questioning one’s purpose or experiencing loss—are opportunities to deepen self-awareness and align with one’s true essence.

Practical Takeaway

For Jung, life beginning at 40 is less about age and more about mindset. It’s an invitation to turn inward, embrace change, and actively engage in self-discovery. This process of individuation allows people to transcend superficial roles and live in alignment with their deepest values and potential.

The autopilot killer of soul

Carl Jung believed that living on “autopilot”—following societal norms, habits, and unconscious patterns without reflection or authenticity—leads to a disconnect from the soul. For Jung, the soul represents the deeper, true essence of a person, encompassing their individuality, creativity, and capacity for meaning. When we ignore this part of ourselves, we risk becoming hollow, fragmented, or stagnant.

1. Loss of Individuation

Jung emphasized individuation, the process of becoming one’s authentic self by integrating all aspects of the psyche, including the shadow (the hidden or rejected parts of ourselves). Autopilot living bypasses this journey, as individuals conform to external expectations or societal roles without exploring their inner world. This prevents growth and self-realization, effectively “killing” the soul’s potential.

2. Suppression of the Unconscious

Jung believed the unconscious holds vital truths, desires, and insights about ourselves. By ignoring introspection and self-awareness, people suppress their unconscious, creating inner tension or emptiness. The soul thrives on this dialogue between the conscious and unconscious, and its absence leads to a sense of disconnection or malaise.

3. Absence of Meaning

According to Jung, the soul seeks meaning and purpose. Living on autopilot often means prioritizing routine or societal values (e.g., material success) over deeper fulfillment. Without engaging in what resonates with the soul—be it art, relationships, or spirituality—people can feel existentially adrift, a condition Jung associated with the “death of the soul.”

Consequences

When the soul is neglected, individuals may experience symptoms such as depression, anxiety, or a feeling of being lost. Jung saw these as signals that the psyche is demanding attention, urging the individual to step out of autopilot and reconnect with their deeper self.

Solution

Jung advocated for practices like self-reflection, dream analysis, and creative expression to combat the soul’s decline. By engaging in these practices, individuals can break free from autopilot, integrate their unconscious, and live in alignment with their true nature, fostering a richer, more authentic existence.

The Bigger Picture

Have you ever observed how babies are not born as blank slates but come into the world with their own distinct personalities? It’s as if they embody pure, unfiltered authenticity from the start. They even put up a strong fight to preserve their authenticity, whether through tantrums or acts of stubbornness. They are essentially fighting for their individual sovereignty.

And yet, have you noticed how, as parents, we often find ourselves trying to shape them to fit societal norms and expectations?

If children are allowed to stay connected to their true selves, they grow up with a stronger sense of purpose, creativity, and emotional resilience.

While some societal norms are necessary for harmonious coexistence, rigidly imposing them at the expense of individuality can hinder personal and collective growth.

Instead of conforming children to societal expectations, fostering a balance between self-expression and healthy social integration can empower them to thrive as their authentic selves.

What if embracing one’s true nature and identity from a young age could pave the way for individuation early in life, opening the door to meeting our true destiny?

Individuation, as Carl Jung described, is the process of integrating all aspects of the self—both conscious and unconscious—into a unified whole. This journey is often delayed by the conditioning and societal pressures that suppress authenticity in favor of conformity.

However, if children were encouraged to remain aligned with their innate selves rather than being shaped to fit external expectations, this process could begin much earlier.

By fostering self-acceptance and authentic expression in childhood, individuals might avoid the midlife crisis often required to confront their suppressed identity. Instead, they could explore and develop their unique paths with clarity and purpose, aligning their actions and choices with their inner truth.

This alignment might enable them to recognize and seize opportunities that resonate with their deepest potential, leading them to fulfill their fate with intention and authenticity.

Such an approach could revolutionize how we view personal growth, suggesting that the key to a meaningful and fulfilling life lies not in waiting for self-realization but in nurturing it from the very start.

Balancing Fate and Friendship: Navigating the Path of Personal Growth

Choosing between fate and keeping the same social circle is a common dilemma, especially when pursuing personal growth or a new path that diverges from your current relationships. Here’s a closer look at the complexities of this decision:

1. Fate as Personal Growth

Fate, in the context of personal growth, is often associated with your true calling or purpose in life. It’s the path that feels deeply aligned with who you are at your core, a journey that might require you to step outside your comfort zone or even leave behind familiar surroundings. In this sense, pursuing your fate may demand a redefinition of who you are and what you want from life.

2. Social Circles and Comfort

Our social circles—family, friends, colleagues—offer comfort, support, and shared history. These relationships are often built on mutual interests, values, and experiences. When pursuing a new purpose, the question arises: can you keep the same social circle, or will the changes in your life create a disconnect?

3. The Tension Between Fate and Social Circles

If your social circle is built around certain habits, lifestyles, or values that no longer align with your evolving self, you may find that the two paths—your fate and the social group—begin to clash. For example, if your journey involves a significant career shift, a move to a new place, or adopting new philosophies, your friends might not understand or support the changes, creating tension or even distancing in the relationship.

However, it’s important to note that pursuing your fate doesn’t always mean leaving friends behind. Some relationships can evolve, and your friends can adapt as they see the value in your transformation, even if they don’t walk the same path.

4. Is it Necessary to Choose?

You don’t always have to choose between fate and maintaining your social circle. Many people find that their relationships can shift in ways that support their growth. For example, friends who once bonded over shared habits might find new common ground in the new version of you. The real challenge comes when those relationships no longer align with your values or impede your progress.

5. The Role of Self-Honoring

Sometimes, the tension between fate and social circles arises because you are afraid of outgrowing your friends or leaving them behind. However, honoring your own path, even at the cost of evolving relationships, is an act of self-respect. It doesn’t mean abandoning those relationships but rather prioritizing your own growth, which can sometimes lead to inevitable distance if the other person doesn’t align with or support that transformation.

6. How Relationships Can Evolve

• Growth Together: Some of your friends might be inspired by your journey and start to evolve alongside you, finding new paths of their own.

• Seasons of Life: Social circles can also be transient. Some friends may play a pivotal role during a specific period of your life, but as you grow, new connections may form that are more in alignment with your current self.

• Letting Go: In some cases, letting go of relationships that no longer serve your growth is necessary. This can be painful, but it can also open up space for new, more aligned connections.

You don’t always have to choose between fate and keeping the same social circle, but the key is finding balance. Your journey of personal growth may lead to changes in your relationships, and some connections may naturally evolve, while others might fade.

Ultimately, choosing your fate is about honoring who you are becoming, and true friendships can adapt to that transformation, or they may make way for new, more aligned connections. The choice isn’t necessarily about abandoning social circles but about ensuring that your growth doesn’t come at the cost of authenticity.

Conclusion

Life beginning at forty is more than just a saying; it reflects a profound truth about personal growth, self-awareness, and fulfillment. By the time individuals reach their forties, they have often gained enough life experience to better understand their values, priorities, and purpose. This period becomes a time of self-rediscovery, where past challenges serve as lessons, enabling greater confidence and resilience.

At forty, many people feel empowered to let go of societal expectations, embrace their authentic selves, and pursue passions that may have been sidelined earlier in life. It’s a time when clarity replaces confusion, making way for deeper relationships, more meaningful goals, and a renewed sense of purpose. Far from being a decline, forty marks the beginning of a more intentional and enriched chapter of life.

Ultimately, life at forty is about realizing that age is not a limitation but an opportunity to embrace all that one has learned and experienced. It is a time to thrive, explore, and redefine success on one’s own terms, proving that some of the best moments in life truly come when we are fully ready to live them.